Bold Love

I don't know how people blog every day. Maybe it says more about me, but I just don't think I have read-worthy things to say that often. I wish I did.

I'm in this amazing group with 3 other women and a professional counselor. We get together every other week and talk about our lives. I'm not sure what the purpose is, but I know that I really like it. We move in good directions. The counselor pushes us (gently) to live out of the woman's heart God has given us.

That is really hard to do.

God and I have been wrestling. Actually, I think I've been doing all the wrestling. God is just in the ring with me. Through all the awful things I'm experiencing in my job, the theme that keeps coming up in my heart is that I have to find a way to love the people involved.

Right now I don't love them at all. My heart is filled with anger and a strong sense of injustice. I want what is fair and right more than I want to love the people doing the wrong. I was challenged today to move towards my offenders with the kind of love that makes no sense. The kind of love that is undeserved. The kind of love God displayed towards me. I was challenged to love with that kind of love because it is good for my heart. It is what would display God's glory most.

I've been feeling quite purposeless lately. My goal has been to survive rather than live. I was re-reminded today that my purpose is to display God's glory. My purpose is to let others taste of Christ through my words and actions. Whew. No easy task and no small calling.

I will take this one day at a time. I will wake up tomorrow and offer my day to God. But I will do it differently than I have done it recently. I will offer my day to God with an eye on the look-out for ways to display God's glory. I will seek His will in finding ways to display His love to those from whom I have withheld His love the most. Your prayers are welcome on this journey.

Dan Allender calls this Bold Love. I'm going to read the book because I think I need it.

I want to live in the kind of heart that can boldly love others out of a desire to display God's glory. The very idea brings a peace I haven't felt in a while.

I'm thankful to both my husband and to my Thursday group for calling out the good heart in me. For not letting me settle in my bitterness. For knowing who I'm capable of being and nudging me in good directions.

Now comes the hard part.