Lemming

Lemming? Perhaps.

The very idea of writing your thoughts like a journal but with the intention of others reading it is a strange concept. Narcissistic is what comes to mind.

But as I read Laura's postings tonight, I was moved by the beauty inside her that I don't get to see too often. I don't see it because we live far apart. I don't see it because I don't look for it. It was nice to see it. And I was drawn to it.

I doubt this is what God had in mind for community with other believers. And yet, it is what it is. If we grow closer to each other through such an impersonal thing as a computer screen, so be it.

When my husband saw what I was doing, he called me a lemming. I've often heard that word used to mean someone just following the crowd. But I was curious what the dictionary had to say. Dictionary.com said that they are rodents known for mass migration that often ends in drowning.

As I thought about what to call my Blog, I almost named it "A Flower Quickly Fading" after a phrase in one of my favorite songs. The chorus of Who Am I by Casting Crowns says:

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours

This song always moves me because it does remind me of who I am and Whose I am.

I love the water, especially beaches. This is probably because I grew up on one. The idea of being just a mere vapor in the wind or one of the many waves of the ocean always stirs something in me. It stirs the idea that I am small in the big scheme of who God is. I am but a vapor. Here today and gone tomorrow. And yet, I am here now. And I know that I am not insignificant. The song stirs both feelings in me - the humbling feeling of being put in my place and the awesome feeling of mattering to God.

I'm getting to a point here...

Am I a lemming? Am I just marching after the ones in front of me, headed to my drowning death? Perhaps.

Or maybe I'm marching after the ones before me to make the most of the time I've got. To amplify the life I have today. To live more fully before this flower does fade away. I don't know. And maybe it's narcissitic. But I'll give it a shot anyway.

May something in this glorify You, O Lord.